Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
