People in love make me want to vomit
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize