awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
they need to just BURY HIM!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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