So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
