its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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