The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
