I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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