Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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