I want you more than these girls want KFC
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
