somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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