Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
