Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
