I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize