i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it glows. i had to have it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
