can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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