dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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