is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
