Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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