Well douche your snatch and let's go!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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