i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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