everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize