evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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