So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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