PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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