Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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