there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
