After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Randomize
