I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize