so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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