ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize