i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
