Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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