I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
