Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
