Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
