i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face