you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT