All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
