Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
