he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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