i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
