3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
