some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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