I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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