Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
