we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i will never coherently bang her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Im part way to drunk.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
