Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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