You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Bring me that man meat
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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