If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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