Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
