god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I need moral support for this bender
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
