oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
