I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
