He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
