I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
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I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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