If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
