3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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