how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
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She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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