the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize