She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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