just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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