i barfeds in our rink
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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