I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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