i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You pole danced in your parka.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize