the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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