You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
